THE SCENT OF MEMORY: AROMA, PRESENCE, AND THE SMALL RITUALS THAT ANCHOR A DAY
Rus Devorah (Darcy) Wallen, LCSW, CIMHP
There are some doorways that do not look like doorways. A song can be one. A recipe can be one. A hallway can be one. But scent may be the strangest doorway of all, because it does not knock politely on the front door of memory. It slips in sideways. Before we have named it, analyzed it, or decided whether we approve of it, aroma has already reached something ancient and emotional inside us. This is not merely poetic. The olfactory system has unusually direct access to brain regions involved in emotion and memory, including the amygdala and hippocampus. That is why a smell can suddenly return us to a grandmother’s kitchen, a school hallway, a hospital room, a childhood home, or a person we have not seen in decades.
PROUST AND INVOLUNTARY MEMORY
Researchers have described odor-evoked autobiographical memory as unusually vivid and emotionally potent, sometimes referred to as the “Proust phenomenon,” after Marcel Proust’s famous literary description of memory flooding back through taste and smell. More than a century ago, Proust gave unforgettable literary form to what is now called involuntary memory: the way an ordinary cue can suddenly return us to the past without effort or intention. In Swann’s Way, his famous taste of a madeleine dipped in linden tea transports him back to childhood, showing how smell and taste can open memory with startling force. Today, this phenomenon is recognized as a common human experience, sometimes tender and nostalgic, and sometimes clinically significant, as in trauma, where sensory cues may bring the past back with painful immediacy. Scent does not merely remind us of the past. Sometimes, for a few seconds, it reinstalls us there.
I experienced this once in a way I have never forgotten. Many years ago, I worked for Rabbi Jacob J. Hecht in Crown Heights, Brooklyn. Rabbi Hecht was a man of incredible stature on every level. He was impeccably dressed, dignified, commanding, and unmistakably unique. He also wore a particular cologne regularly. I would sit in his large conference room office, sometimes closer to him, sometimes farther down the table, and it did not matter where I sat. That aroma pervaded the room. It became part of the atmosphere, almost part of the architecture of the place.
Many years after his passing, I was walking down Kingston Avenue, in the heart of Crown Heights, when that same scent suddenly wafted through the air. Evidently, someone nearby was wearing the same cologne. I do not suppose Rabbi Hecht had commissioned his own exclusive fragrance from some secret rabbinic perfumer, although, if anyone could have carried that off, it would have been him. But the moment that aroma entered my nose, I was transported. I was no longer simply walking down Kingston Avenue. I was back in Rabbi Hecht’s office. The table, the room, the presence, the gravitas, the feeling of being near a person of stature, all of it returned through scent.
This is the quiet power of aroma. It can become attached to person, place, ritual, and state. It can become a sensory bookmark in the nervous system. That is part of why people often ask me about my use of aromatherapy. I do not use it as a cure-all, and I do not think essential oils should be treated like little glass bottles of mystical omnipotence. They are potent plant compounds, not fairy godmothers with droppers. But used thoughtfully, safely, and modestly, aroma can become a beautiful support for rhythm, regulation, memory, and mood.
MY AROMATHERAPY USES
I have three distinct uses for aromatherapy in my own life: lavender at bedtime, eucalyptus in the morning shower, and citrus in my office when I want a clean, bright lift.
LAVENDER AT NIGHT: A SMALL RITUAL OF DESCENT
My favorite bedtime aroma is the famous and traditional lavender. I have a diffuser near my bed that holds about 500 cc of water. At night, I usually put at least eight drops of lavender oil into the water; the diffuser releases the aroma either in intervals or in a continuous stream. The fragrance becomes part of the bedtime atmosphere: soft, familiar, floral, and calming.
My very favorite lavender oil is one I found with my sister at NEOB Lavender in Niagara-on-the-Lake, Canada, a lavender farm and essential oil shop near Niagara Falls. Their lavender is beautiful, and the whole experience of finding it with my sister makes it even more beloved to me. It is often a gift for beloved friends. Since it is on the expensive side, I do not use it nightly, but I do love gifting it. There are also more reasonably priced lavender oils available through our Fullscript dispensary, which can make this calming bedtime practice more accessible. From May 18 to 20, Fullscript is having a sale, adding 5% to usually discount my clients. Join during the sale, and I will raise your 5% discount to 20%. Just to be clear, though. Lavender is not my entire sleep routine. It is one member of a larger calming committee, and unlike most committees, this one is actually useful. Because of my ADD nature and my generally high-strung, highly activated system, I use several supports at night to help myself wind down. These may include magnesium, L-theanine, GABA, herbal teas like Sleepytime, and other calming supports that help tell my nervous system, “The day is done, gone the sun. You may stop conducting the world now.”
My sleep routine includes many other pieces of sleep hygiene as well: a cool room, darkening shades to keep the room even darker, morning red light exposure, and other routines that help regulate my body’s internal clock, the circadian rhythm, and help the nervous system know when to rise and when to rest. Sleep is rarely one magic intervention. It is usually a whole ecosystem. The room, the light, the temperature, the evening habits, the morning cues, the supplements, the sensory atmosphere, and the emotional tone of the day all have a vote.
So, when I speak about lavender, I am not presenting it as a stand-alone miracle. I use it as part of a layered bedtime ritual: supplements, environment, routine, lowered stimulation, darkness, coolness, morning light cues, and sensory signals. The aroma is one signal among several. It helps mark the transition from alertness to rest. The newer research on lavender is more encouraging than some of the older, more cautious reviews. A 2025 systematic review and meta-analysis on lavender for sleep disorders in older adults found a predominantly positive effect on sleep quality, although the authors still noted limitations in the evidence. Another 2025 systematic review and meta-analysis of lavender essential oil in adults also examined randomized controlled trials and reported sleep-enhancing effects, while still emphasizing the importance of study quality and methodological caution.
That is the honest scientific sentence: lavender may help improve subjective sleep quality, especially when used as an inhaled bedtime cue, but it should not be treated as a sedative medication or a substitute for proper medical care. It is not “sleep in a bottle.” It is more like a gentle environmental whisper that the nervous system may learn to associate with rest. This is important because sleep is rarely about one variable. For some people, especially those with high internal activation, the issue is not simply, “I need to fall asleep.” It is, “I need to come down from the neurological weather system of my day.” Lavender helps me create that descent. It does not force sleep. It invites it.
EUCALYPTUS IN THE MORNING: WAKEFULNESS WITH RESPECT
My next favorite use, in the order of the day, is eucalyptus in the morning shower. I keep a bottle of eucalyptus oil in the shower. I open it and shake a few drops onto the opposite wall from where the water flows. The steam helps release the aroma, and the whole shower becomes bright, sharp, and wakeful.
With eucalyptus, one needs to be careful. It is strong, pungent, and can be stinging. Once, I accidentally broke a bottle in the shower, and the intensity was something between “spa retreat” and “koala bear chemical warfare.” It was memorable. Let us leave it at that. The primary aromatic constituent often discussed in eucalyptus oil is 1,8-cineole, also called eucalyptol. It is found in eucalyptus and other plants and has been studied for respiratory effects, especially in relation to mucus, inflammation, and airway comfort. Reviews suggest that 1,8-cineole may have mucolytic, anti-inflammatory, antimicrobial, and bronchodilatory properties, and it has been studied in respiratory conditions such as asthma, bronchitis, sinusitis, and COPD. However, much of the stronger clinical evidence involves standardized oral preparations or specific medical formulations, not casual shower diffusion.
That distinction matters. The fact that a compound has therapeutic potential in one form, dose, and context does not mean that shaking oil on a shower wall is a medical treatment. It means the aroma may feel subjectively opening, clearing, and invigorating, and there is plausible physiology behind why eucalyptus feels so much like, “Wake up, lungs, we have a day to run here.” For me, eucalyptus is not about treating illness. It is about entering the day. Lavender says, “The day is done.” Eucalyptus says, “We are not done. Where are your shoes?”
This is also where safety deserves its own chair at the table. Essential oils are highly concentrated. Eucalyptus oil should never be swallowed, and even small amounts can be seriously toxic. Pure eucalyptus oil can also irritate the mouth, digestive tract, skin, and eyes. So yes, I enjoy eucalyptus. I also respect it. Like many strong things in life, it should be used with proportion, ventilation, and common sense. Also, apparently, one should not drop and shatter the bottle in the shower. This is my contribution to public health.
CITRUS IN THE OFFICE: BRIGHTNESS WITHOUT THE JITTERS
My third use is more occasional. If I need a pick-me-up in my office, which is actually rare, I may diffuse citrus oil. I am generally bright-eyed and bushy-tailed during the day. Between my ADD-ish wiring, my work, and whatever nature G-d gave me, I am not typically searching for alertness. My system is usually already on stage, with a microphone, three backup singers, and a mildly concerning amount of enthusiasm.
But there are days. Maybe I have arrived home from arduous travel. Maybe I had an all-nighter for an important project. Maybe the body is technically present, but the soul is still waiting at baggage claim. On those days, I may use citrus oils such as tangerine, orange, lemon, or grapefruit. I have blends of mixed citrus as well as individual oils, and I use a different kind of diffuser in my office, one that does not require water, because I do not want spills near electronics and computer equipment. The computer has enough existential burdens without being marinated in orange oil.
Citrus scents are often experienced as bright, clean, fresh, and energizing. The research base is not as uniform as one might wish, but there is some evidence that citrus aromas can influence mood, anxiety, stress response, and emotional tone. A review of citrus essential oils described a range of potential therapeutic effects, including anxiolytic and mood-related effects for some citrus oils. Older experimental work also found that lemon oil could influence mood in a laboratory setting.
Again, the practical takeaway is modest. Citrus oil is not caffeine. It is not a stimulant medication. It is not a substitute for sleep. It is a small sensory nudge. For some people, that nudge says clean, awake, fresh, begin again. Citrus also comes with cautions, especially when applied to skin. Some citrus oils can increase photosensitivity, particularly when used topically and followed by ultraviolet light exposure. Since I am discussing diffusion rather than topical application, that is less relevant to my practice, but it is still worth knowing. Natural does not mean automatically harmless. Hemlock is natural. So is poison ivy. Nature is magnificent, but she does not always come with a liability waiver.
AROMA AS A PRACTICE, NOT A PROMISE
Aromatherapy, at its best, is not grandiose. It does not need to promise miracles. Its beauty is subtler than that. Aroma can help mark transitions. It can cue the body toward rest, wakefulness, focus, or memory. It can help make a room feel cared for. It can remind the nervous system that the environment is not neutral; it speaks.
This is especially useful in a world where transitions have become blurred. We work in bedrooms. We answer emails in kitchens. We bring office stress into the car, home stress into the office, and phone stress absolutely everywhere, because apparently civilization decided we should carry a small rectangle of urgency in our pockets at all times, including “throne time.” For me, these sensory rituals help restore boundaries. Lavender for night. Eucalyptus for morning. Citrus for office brightness. They may be small acts, but small acts repeated over time become a kind of scaffolded architecture.
In Torah life, this matters. We are not disembodied minds floating above the week, occasionally interrupted by meals. We are souls in bodies. We sanctify time through action, object, sound, taste, smell, and rhythm. Wine for Kiddush. Besamim (sweet spices), for Havdalah. Challah under a cover. Candles before Shabbos. The physical world is not an obstacle to holiness; it is the medium through which holiness enters lived experience.
Chazal, our sages, teach that smell is uniquely connected to the soul. On the verse “Kol haneshoma tehalel Kah,” “Let every soul praise Hashem,” the sages ask: What is something from which the soul benefits and not the body? The answer is fragrance. The words neshima (breath), and neshama (soul), are cognates, showing how fragrance reaches us through our nostrils, where the breath of life entered. This is one reason there are blessings recited over pleasant aromas. At Havdalah, fragrant spices are used to comfort the soul as the extra spiritual sensitivity of Shabbos departs. Scent, in Jewish life, is not only sensory. It is threshold language. It accompanies transitions.
That is how I understand my own use of aroma. Lavender is a threshold into sleep. Eucalyptus is a threshold into morning. Citrus is a threshold back into work, energy, and brightness. These are not replacements for discipline, health, nutrition, medical care, prayer, sleep hygiene, or common sense. They are cues. They are atmosphere. They are small, embodied practices that help the nervous system remember where it is and what it is being invited to do next.
A NOTE ON SAFETY
Essential oils are concentrated plant compounds, so more is not always better. I use several drops in a large water diffuser, but I do not apply essential oils directly to skin undiluted, ingest them, or treat them as medication. People who are pregnant, nursing, medically complex, highly allergic, using sedating medications, or caring for children or pets should be especially cautious and consult appropriate guidance. People with asthma, COPD, migraines, chemical sensitivities, or seizure disorders should also be careful, since strong odors can trigger symptoms in susceptible individuals.
Natural does not mean casual. The plant kingdom is glorious, but it is not always gentle. Still, when used wisely, aroma can be a beautiful thing. It can become a gentle companion to sleep, a morning signal of aliveness, or an office note of clarity. And sometimes, unexpectedly, it becomes a bridge to a person, a place, a room, a teacher, a moment.
One breath, and there we are again.
Kingston Avenue…
Rabbi Hecht’s office…
The conference table…
Connecting with the presence of the man who filled that room.
And the mysterious mercy of the human brain, which lets a passing fragrance become a doorway back to memory.
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